College
It Takes a Village
Parents Reflect on their Graduating Seniors’ Ramapo Journeys
By Diane Couzens | Fall 2025
“If parents want to give their children a gift, the best thing they can do is to teach them to love challenges, be intrigued by mistakes, enjoy effort and keep on learning.” – Carol Dweck
Watch the graduates closely at Commencement, and you’ll notice a common occurrence: their hand shoots up, waving towards the crowd. Eagerly waving back, cell phones up to take photos of their graduate during a major milestone in their life, are their family and friends.
Parents, families and friends form an important support system for students as they pursue higher education. For many students, attending college marks an important transition from child to young adult, of growing independence and personal discovery. For their parents and families, especially at Ramapo where 48% of new first-time students are first-generation, watching their child pursue and achieve their degree is filled with emotions.
A few months after the May 2025 Commencement ceremonies, I spoke with three members of the undergraduate Honor Guard and their parents to learn about their perspectives, proudest moments, what they worried about and how their relationship evolved during their Ramapo journey.
Jump to:
Kayla Brand ’25
Victor Oluwagbemi ’25
Stefanie Viera ’25
Kayla Brand ’25
Reflections
Suzanne Brand, Mother of Kayla Brand ’25
Before Kayla started at Ramapo, Suzanne “felt happy and hopeful, as she was transferring in from another college that had not been the right fit for her. I was excited for her new journey and the connections she could make, as well as watching her growth and further independence.”
Over her time at Ramapo, Suzanne shared that “Kayla had many obstacles to overcome, one of them that stands out was transferring. She first had to overcome the defeat of her initial choice of school not panning out well. She decided she would prefer to come back to New Jersey, therefore a new adventure lay in front of us to find the right school. I’m sure she was filled with angst and felt some pressure facing this new decision. She applied and was accepted to Ramapo. I was proud to watch her tenacity as she packed up, moved back and prepared for a new adventure while remaining positive and excited. It was such a joy watching Kayla navigate challenges and focus hard on studies in addition to immersing herself in programs and clubs. [I was surprised to watch] Kayla coming out of her shell and applying to be an RA…and throwing herself into various clubs and activities. This was outside her comfort zone, and she pushed herself and turned out to be a wonderful RA! We are extremely proud of her graduating summa cum laude!”
“Our hope for Kayla is that she continues to thrive not only in career, but also in relationships, hobbies and anything other activities in life. I watched her grow into such a caring, hardworking young adult which would make any parent proud. I wish for her nothing but success as her life journey continues. As long as she continues to embrace challenges, stays levelheaded and finds joy in her career, I feel the sky’s the limit. Ramapo was the perfect starting ground for her future!”
Kayla Brand ’25 and her mother get a shot during Homecoming 2024.
Reactions of Kayla Brand ’25
How do you feel reading what your mom wrote?
“Reading what my mom wrote makes me feel really grateful. My first college experience was a lot harder than I expected, and my family, especially my mom, was the reason I got through that time. She reminded me that my happiness mattered more than staying somewhere that didn’t feel right, and that gave me the courage to transfer.”
As you've gone through college, how has your relationship with your mom evolved?
“Over my time at Ramapo, I think my relationship with my mom grew has grown even stronger. She’s always been someone I can talk to about anything, and college made me realize how much I rely on her support. Whether I was figuring out a tough situation, stressed about classes or unsure about what direction to take, she was always there to listen and encourage me to do what felt right.”
Do you recall any specific time when you reached out to your mom for support or guidance and what that meant to you?
“There were a lot of times I called my mom just to get her advice or reassurance, especially when I was overthinking things. One big one was when I decided to transfer schools—she really helped me realize that it was okay to change paths and start fresh somewhere else. Other times, it was smaller things, like when I was nervous about putting myself out there for different opportunities. She always had a way of calming me down and reminding me that I was capable, which helped me push past my doubts.”
Do you have a favorite memory with your family while you were at Ramapo?
“I always loved Family Day each year with my parents, sister and grandparents—it was special having everyone together on campus and showing them where I spent my time. One visit that stands out was when my mom came up on one of her days off. I had just started a new film photography project, and I remember showing her my negatives and explaining what I was working on. I even got to take some photos of her for my class that day, which was a cool experience to share because she was a photographer. Later, we went to an RA event together before heading out to dinner at the Mahwah Bar & Grill. It was such a simple day, but having that one-on-one time with her in the middle of a busy semester is one of my favorite memories from college.”
Victor Oluwagbemi ’25
Reflections
Olajumoke Oluwagbemi, Mother of Victor Oluwagbemi ’25
In the weeks leading up to Victor’s start at Ramapo, Olajumoke shared, “I felt very uneasy when Victor had to report physically on campus because it was during COVID and our first time of living apart. We communicated every day, mostly via text and talked occasionally on the phone. He visited home every four to six weeks, especially when he needed a new hair style!”
As Victor moved toward graduation, Olajumoke shared that “he did not change who he was as a leader and a kind, hardworking and very considerate gentleman. I think he joined too many clubs/organizations and got a little overwhelmed at some point, but he would call and talk things over with me. Sometimes we prayed together for grace and strength. He actually hid his leadership role as the SGA president from me in his junior year for a while because he knew I was going to say it was too much. Today, I am proud that he put in his best effort despite my worries as a mom. The work he put in as the SGA president changed and influenced the lives of some students. This was evident on his graduation day, when some students just hung onto him for the longest time talking, some even in tears.”
Victor Oluwagbemi ’25 and his mother.
She closed by saying, “On graduation day, when Victor walked with his dean to represent the School of Social Science and Human Services, it brought tears to my eyes. Seeing him lead with such a prestigious honor, out of so many other students was such an enriching experience. It was truly fulfilling watching him grow up to be such an outstanding leader. I am proud of everything about Victor.”
Reactions of Victor Oluwagbemi ’25
How do you feel reading what your mom wrote?
“I honestly feel a lot of different emotions reading what she wrote. I feel a strong sense of pride knowing that I was able to graduate college while carrying so many other roles on my shoulders. In my sophomore year, my mom and I had several conversations about extracurriculars and if they were worth continuing. As my time at Ramapo increased, so did those conversations, especially in my junior year. I had so many responsibilities, and sometimes it would be overwhelming, and I know that worried my mom a great deal. Nevertheless, I knew what needed to be done, and I wanted to see how far I could go if I just continued to pray and know that God had a plan for me. In the end, it turned out far greater than I expected and all that time spent studying, working and volunteering really came to fruition.”
As you've gone through college, how has your relationship with your mom evolved?
“I feel like we have definitely grown closer together, and over the four years I was at Ramapo, we built a lot of trust as well. We were already pretty close, but the Ramapo experience helped bring us closer together. What drew us closer together was not just the triumphs, but also the trials, challenges and obstacles I had to face, and my mom was there for me every step of the way.”
Do you recall any specific time when you reached out to your mom for support or guidance and what that meant to you?
“I asked my mom for advice for almost anything under the sun, whether it was cooking, cleaning, what products are best to use, how to reach out to a professor, maintaining finances, etc. One thing that I always remember talking to her was about time management. I really struggled with work/life balance, and it was difficult for me to find the right way to manage my time. I asked my mom about it, and she reminded me that I needed to have priorities: Why did I come to college? What am I here to pursue? How will this serve me? My mom helped me realize that part of wellness is learning what is necessary and what can be put to the side. Those conversations really helped me realign my focus, and things became much easier over time.”
Do you have a favorite memory with your mom while you were at Ramapo?
“In the spring semester [this year], my mom came to visit and do my hair. She has been doing my hair for four years at that point, so she was basically my personal stylist! At the time, I was also dealing with allergies, so we went out to get some medicine. It was late at night when we left because we took all day to do my hair. We arrived at the first CVS, and it was closed, so we ended up going to a different one. By the time we finished everything, it was dark, and we decided that mom would sleep over and head back home the next day. It was a lot of fun spending the whole day with her, especially in the middle of the semester when I had not been home in a while.”
Stefanie Viera ’25
Reflections
Shirlie and Pedro Viera, Parents of Stefanie Viera ’25
Shirlie shared that, “We knew Ramapo was right for Stefanie because she did a tour, then we did a self-guided tour and ended up in Dean Susan Hangen’s office, who took time out of her day to meet with us. Then we ended up walking past Dr. Stephen Rice’s office, and even though he was in the middle of something, he put it down, joined us on a walk around campus and sat talking with us in the Adirondack chairs. Everyone cares and is accessible. They give each student the time they need. Even with that, the day Stefanie moved in was super emotional, even though she’s our second daughter going to college. There was comfort in knowing she was close by.”
Shirlie went on to note, “Education is big in our family. I didn’t get to finish my time in college. Pedro went right into the military. So we have always emphasized and focused on education for our girls.”
As Stefanie progressed in her studies, Pedro said, “I was surprised at the number of activities she was involved in. She also learned how to network during her second year. When she met Dr. Rebecca Root, she really started to spread her wings.”
When asked about their hopes and dreams for Stefanie, both Shirlie and Pedro agreed that she is passionate about justice and know that she will succeed as she helps other people.
Leadership Awards: (left to right) Professor Rebecca Root, Pedro, Shirlie and Stefanie Viera.
Reaction of Stefanie Viera ’25
How do you feel hearing what your parents said, and how has your relationship with your parents evolved?
“I was nervous going away, even though I felt really comfortable on campus because I was involved in Leaders in Service. I’ve used them as a sounding board throughout college, especially when I’ve had to make big decisions—like what to do after graduation. I had applied for so many things and eventually after talking with them and Dr. Root, I chose to pursue the New York City Urban Fellowship. Having my parents with me every step of the way has been essential to my continued growth. They have a lot more life experience than me, and their continued support is instrumental in where I go next.”