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Being involved in a relationship should be a chance for friendship, intimacy, and further self exploration. Healthy relationships may also allow you to reaffirm your identity and offer a chance for personal growth. In fact, maintaining your sense of identity is vital in a healthy relationship. Knowing who you are, establishing your goals and dreams, and staying true to your personal values will benefit not only you as an individual, but also the relationship you are involved in. Remember, the relationship began because of your dynamic self in the first place. There should always be a sense of identity beyond your relationship. The relationship should fulfill you and expand your outlook and growth, but not define you. If you are committed to a healthy relationship, you should always have a sense of self, your identity.
What Makes a Healthy Relationship
There are many different components of a healthy relationship. Only you can be the judge of your relationship, although sometimes the people in the relationship lose an objective outlook on something they are so close to. Think about your current or past relationship when considering the following questions.
If you answered YES to a majority of the above questions you are most likely in a healthy relationship. The questions that you answered with NO may be areas of your relationship that need some attention. If a majority of the questions were answered with NO, you should re-evaluate your relationship and the reasons why you are in it. If you are worried that your relationship is unhealthy, do this exercise with a friend you trust. They may provide an objective opinion to further analyze your relationship. Remember, you deserve nothing less than a healthy relationship!
Abusive Behavior and the Cycle of Violence
This is usually the longest period of the cycle.
This is usually the briefest period of the cycle.
In some cases of abuse, there may not be a honeymoon period
Other Areas that You Should Evaluate
Here are some more areas to evaluate. Answer these questions and construct your standards and ideas of a what a healthy relationship, according to you, requires. Again, discussing and sharing opinions with a friend you trust may provide some insight and further ensure the health of your relationships.
Also remember that a healthy relationship is not just one in which there is an absence of physical abuse. The health of a relationship depends on emotional, mental, verbal, and economic respect. Please continue to the unhealthy relationship link if you would like to become more aware of the signs of abuse and how to recognize an unhealthy relationship.
Stalking
Stalking is a crime that is plaguing our society. Anyone can be stalked — adult or child, male or female, married or single, rich or poor. Victims and their families virtually become prisoners of fear. As part of a continuing response to the prevention of violence in New Jersey, stalking legally became a crime in New Jersey on January 5, 1993.
A person is guilty of Stalking in New Jersey if he or she purposely and repeatedly follows another person, and engages in a course of conduct or makes a credible threat with the intent of annoying or placing that person in reasonable fear of death or bodily injury.The Stalker may be someone you know (a friend, co-worker, acquaintance), someone you once had a relationship with, or a complete stranger. Stalking does not have to be sexual in nature. Stalkers direct their attention at a specific person, or at that person’s family or friends.
The law refers to course of conduct as a knowing and willful course of conduct directed at a specific person, composed of a series of acts over a period of time, however short, evidencing a continuity of purpose which alarms or annoys that person and which serves no legitimate purpose. The course of conduct must be such as to cause a reasonable person to suffer emotional distress. The law refers to credible threat as an explicit or implicit threat made with the intent and the apparent ability to carry out the threat, so as to cause the person who is the target of the threat to reasonably fear for their safety.
A person may be charged with Stalking if that person:
If you believe that you are being Stalked, get help immediately, even if only one incident has occurred.
Work with the police and the Prosecutor’s Office. Listen to the advice they offer. They are working to protect you and your family.
Are You in a Dangerous Relationship
Does your partner:
If you have answered “yes” to any of the above questions, then you may be involved in an abusive relationship.
Legal Information
This law applies to you if you are a person 18 years of age or older, or an emancipated minor subjected to domestic violence by a spouse, or former spouse, or a present or former household member, or someone with whom you have a child in common. This law also applies to you if you are subjected to domestic violence within a dating relationship, regardless of your age (under or over 18). You do not have to be married or living with the abuser in order to be protected.
YES! Domestic violence is a serious crime and the police must respond to your calls – no matter how many times you call them. Under the Prevention of Domestic Violence Act, it is the primary duty of the police officer who responds to a domestic violence call to enforce the law and to protect the victim. The law requires that all law enforcement officers and judicial personnel receive training in domestic violence.
The police are required by law to help you and to give you information about your rights. Among other things, the police must write a report. Be sure to tell the officer all the details. Read the report carefully and correct any mistakes. BE SURE TO GET THE OFFICER’S NAME AND BADGE NUMBER
A police officer MUST ARREST a domestic violence suspect and MUST SIGN A CRIMINAL COMPLAINT against this person if you, the victim, show signs of injury caused by an act of domestic violence, even if you, as the injured party, do not wish to file a complaint.
If you show no indication of having suffered bodily injury, but tell the officer that an injury has occurred, the officer at the scene should consider other factors to determine if there is reason to make an arrest. The following are other factors that the police officer should consider:
If you act with reasonable force in self defense against an attacker, and both you and your attacker show signs of injury, you should not be arrested or charged with a domestic violence offense. The officer at the scene should consider the nature and extent of the injuries, along with any previous history of reported domestic violence incidents.
If a police officer at the scene has reason to believe a weapon was used during an act of domestic violence, the officer must arrest the suspect and seize any weapons on the premises that could expose you to further harm. The officer must also sign a criminal complaint in this instance.
Seized weapons are turned over to the county prosecutor’s office. If the prosecutor does not institute a legal action within 45 days to retain the weapon(s) seized, they may be returned to the owner.
Information from Domestic Violence: The Law and You provided by NJ Department of Community Affairs.
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