Women's Center: Sexuality

To Have Sex or Not:
Deciding to have sex with someone can be a very hard decision. If you are contemplating whether or not you are ready to have sex with a particular person but are indecisive on the matter, answer the following questions and maybe they will help you make the decision that is right for you. In this case the word partner means sexual partner.

• Am I ready to have sex?
• Do I trust my partner?
• How long have we been together?
• Does the amount of time we've been together matter?
• If we have sex will the relationship grow?
• If we have sex will the relationship end?
• If we have sex will I become more dependent on my partner?
• Does my partner respect me?
• Does my partner want more than just sex from me?
• Does my partner have any interest in me other than physically?
• Does my partner sincerely care about me?
• Do my friends and family know and like my partner?
• Ever since we started the relationship has my partner pressured me for sex?
• Are we in a committed relationship?
• Are we in a monogamous relationship?
• Do we know each other's sexual histories as well as personal histories?
• Do I consider my partner one of my best friends?
• Can I be open and honest with my partner?
• Do I feel comfortable around my partner?
• Am I myself around my partner?
• Am I just having sex to say that I am sexually active?
• Am I having sex just out of curiosity?
• Am I comfortable with not being in a committed relationship and having sex?
• Do I want sex just for pleasure?
• Will my partner be comfortable with using birth control and what kind?
• Have we discussed why we want to have sex?
• Do we know each other's sexual boundaries, likes and dislikes?
• Have I discovered my sexual orientation?
• Do my partner and I communicate in a healthy way?
• Have we told each other how we feel about one another?
• Are we having sex because we don't have any other way of expressing love?
• Am I in love?
• Is it important to me to be in love in order to have sex?
• Is my partner too aggressive?
• I am certain that I will not regret it with this person?
• Has my partner done nothing to show that they are concerned with my feelings?
• Do I feel threatened or intimidated by my partner?
• Am I having sex only so this person will like me?

Hopefully these questions help you with your decision. Just remember to value yourself and always be sure to get treated with the respect you deserve. If you are not ready to have sex make that clear to your partner and do not give into doing anything that makes you uncomfortable. If you decide to have sex be responsible and aware of birth control and safer sex. Sex can be a wonderful experience of intimacy and pleasure if you are comfortable and ready within yourself.

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