Campus Ministries: Catholic Ministries
TWO KINDS OF PEOPLE
Can you relate to St. Paul's poignant description of our struggle with sin? I can.
No matter which way I turn, I can't make myself do right. I want to, but I can't. When I want to do good, I don't; and when I try not to do wrong, I do it anyway. Now if I am doing what I don't want to, it is plain where the trouble is: sin still has me in its evil grasp. It seems to be a fact of life that when I want to do what is right, I inevitable do what is wrong. I love to do God's will, so far as my new nature is concerned; but there is something else deep within me, in my lower nature, that is at war with my mind and wins the fight, and makes me a slave to the sin that is still within me. In my mind I want to be God's willing servant, but instead I find myself still enslaved to sin. My new life tells me to do right, but the old nature that is still inside me loves to sin. Oh, what a terrible predicament I am in!
Romans 7:15-24
Many of us are less candid than St. Paul. Rather than acknowledging our personal weaknesses and sins, we deny our responsibility and blame our unhappiness on other people or on situations outside ourselves.
What light does the following parable shed on our search for happiness?
A spiritual teacher had lost the key to his house and was looking for it on the lawn outside, running his fingers through each blade of grass. His students came along and asked what had happened. ``I have lost the key to my house,'' the teacher said. ``Can we help you find it?'' they asked. ``I'd be delighted!'' he replied. With that the disciples got down on their hands and knees beside him and started running their fingers through the grass too.
After some hours, one of the students asked, ``Teacher, have you any idea where you might have lost the key?'' He answered, ``Yes, of course. I lost it in the house.'' The students looked at one another in astonishment. ``Then why are we looking for it out here?'' they exclaimed. The teacher replied, ``Because there is more light here!''
This story spotlights a foolish and futile error. We have lost the key to happiness and are searching for it outside ourselves where it cannot possible be found. We look outside because it is easier and more pleasant. There is more light outside, and also more company. If we search for happiness outside ourselves, we will have plenty of company, because this way of life is heavily traveled.
If we look for the key within, where it can be found, we may feel alone, abandoned by friends and family, who are threatened by the honesty of our search. Our past rejections and hurts, the deepest ones half hidden in childhood, have left us all emotionally and spiritually wounded. The road less traveled is the courageous journey within to the places where we are hurting. It takes tremendous courage to probe dark and oftentimes painful memories, attitudes, and feelings.
Little wonder, then, that many prefer to deny their inner brokenness, cover it over with a facade of ``success,'' project their inner problems and pains on to others. There was a time when doctors would treat deep wounds to the body by covering them over, encouraging the skin to heal. What would happen was that, although there was superficial healing, the wound would continue to fester destructively within. Now doctors open the wound, ugly though it may be, to the air, so that it heals from the inside out. This is the way our spiritual wounds are healed as well.
Towards the end of his life, the great mystic St. John of the Cross was asked by a bishop what his years of spiritual journeying had taught him. ``My desires,'' John answered. Here was a person in touch with his inner neediness. The only road out of our weakness and pain is through it. But we dare not journey into the cell of self-knowledge alone. If we are not to be crushed by what we see and feel, we need to walk hand in hand with our God, Who already knows all there is to know about us and loves us, unconditionally, through and through.
I began this reflection with St. Paul's description of our struggle with sin. Paul concludes that section by looking for a way out of his predicament:
Who will free me from my slavery to this deadly lower nature? Thank God! It has been done by Jesus Christ the Lord. He has set me free.
Romans 7:24f
There are two kinds of people in the world. It is not that some people have weaknesses and sins, and others don't. We are all weak sinners. Every last one of us. The difference that really defines people is how we choose to deal with our weaknesses.
There are two kinds of people: the righteous who believe themselves sinners; the rest who believe themselves righteous.
Blaise Pascal
Some of us choose Paul's solution. We acknowledge our woundedness, confess our sins, let Jesus' love set us free. We can't admit our sinfulness unless at the same time we see ourselves as loved and loveable. We hate our sin, but love the sinner, ourselves. We make it our life's work to seek the grace we need in order to recognize and struggle through our immaturity and brokenness. Our life is a spiritual journey to the genuine freedom and happiness that only come from living in God's love. Our religion has to do with real life, with our desire to let God's grace transform everything in our lives, our strengths and our weaknesses, the happy and the sad times, both past and present, into opportunities to grow in love.
Others, however, choose to pretend, to ignore or deny that they have spiritual work to do. Why do they refuse to acknowledge their inner needs? They are afraid of the pain; they don't believe they can be healed; they don't want to change. But their wounds continue to fester within, infecting their capacity for genuine love. They go on hurting, and hurting others. They can become hard and bitter. They weren't born that way; they stood by and let their buried pain poison their hearts. They may allow themselves to wallow in self-pity and do terrible, destructive things. Their eyes are open, but they are spiritually blind. The world might judge them successes, but God knows they are abysmal failures. They may continue to keep alive some religious practices, but their hearts have chosen death.
I have set before you life or death, blessing or curse. Choose life, then, so that you and your descendants may live, in the love of Yahweh your God, heeding his voice, and clinging to Him; for in this your life consists....
Deuteronomy 30:19f
Ronald Stanley, O.P.
For additional articles relating to this topic see:
THEN CAME THE STORM
FATAL FLAWS
FORBIDDEN FRUIT
ASHAMED OF YOUR FEELINGS?
YOU GOT AN ATTITUDE?
SALT OF THE EARTH
PERSEVERANCE
TRUE HUMILITY
CONFESSION: THE BITTERSWEET SACRAMENT
VIRGIN HEARTS
IS ORIGINAL SIN ORIGINAL GUILT?
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