Campus Ministries: Catholic Ministries
MAKE REAL FRIENDS WITH THE POOR
Since 1997 I have been bringing groups of American college students up into the remote mountains of the DominicanRepublic [DR] for service projects. Our volunteers teach arts and crafts, English, etc. to children in rural public schools; they help the community to build or upgrade schools, houses, centers, and water tanks; they bring and distribute hundreds of pounds of clothing, vitamins, medicines, books, toys, etc. But, most importantly of all, our young Americans get to live for two weeks with beautiful, poor farming families, usually without electricity, flush toilets, paved roads, etc. Invariably, when the time comes to leave, many tears are shed, by both our students and their host families. Powerful bonds of understanding and love have been created, bridging First and Third World people.
While in the DR our group of volunteers meet to reflect upon their experience together. They begin to see, for example, how difficult it can be for a poor person to always be on the receiving end of charity. St. Vincent de Paul put it well: "It is only for your love alone, that the poor will forgive you the bread you give them." Love is our best gift to our hosts. They are honored to have group after group of young Americans want to come and share their humble life in the mountains. The love they receive from these students reaffirms for them the common humanity and equality of all peoples, rich and poor.
Our students learn how important it is for our hosts to be able to do things for us. We need to allow them to do the giving, and we ourselves be on the receiving end of their charity, even if it is only letting them give us a cup of tea or help us remove thorns from our clothing.
The Dominican people don't seem to appreciate how much they are already giving us, how privileged and grateful we feel to be sharing in the richness of their lives. We Americans are overawed by our hosts' human warmth, embracing hospitality, family unity, profound faith, and deep dignity. Our students come to the DR to serve with love, but soon realize that they are receiving much move than they are giving.
While the focus of our group's attention is on the Dominican community with whom we are living and working, that is not the only community we are enjoying. Service projects like this one bring together a splendid group of volunteers. And so, as together we work and play, adapt to the culture, language and food, and as together we confront steep mountain trails and unnerving insects, our group develops a close camaraderie.
Before they return to the States, I reveal to our students that the underlying purpose of our trip has been subversive. We want to subvert the lie to which they are being continually subjected, namely, that happiness is to be found in the blind pursuit of the almighty dollar. We hope that, because of what they have experienced in the DR, they will (borrowing the motto of the Jesuit Volunteer Corps) "Be Ruined For Life!"-ruined in their desire to dedicate their lives to mere material success, ruined in their capacity to turn a blind eye to the plight of the poor, at home and abroad. In the DR they have, in the words of the Apostle Paul, made "real friends with the poor" (Rm 12:16), and that can make all the difference in the world.
At the root of injustice is a dualism. We disconnect our minds and hearts from others, so that we can treat them as objects, cut off from ourselves, outside our area of concern. But when we make true friends-extensions of ourselves-with people who live in the Third World or in a slum, or are homeless, or are victims of prejudice, or suffer from AIDS, or have no health insurance, or are dependent upon welfare, or are chronically ill or elderly, then their concerns become our concerns too.
Charitable donations are wonderful and sorely needed, but are no substitute for the radical transformations that can take place from direct contact with the needy. Indignation at injustice and compassion for the suffering are ignited when we make real friends with the poor.
The challenge confronting our students upon returning home is the same one we all face: how do we avoid getting sucked into the rat race of materialism? How can we keep alive and vibrant our connectedness with those whom society casts aside?
There is no one-size-fits-all easy answer to this. Two weeks among the poor can open the eyes of our hearts, can offer an epiphany into how we would like to live our lives. However, a one-time experience will carry us only so far. How can we keep sensitized?
Deliberately cultivating a select group of friends, who share our desire to live a simpler life of service, can help us guard against self-absorption and consumerism. Association with great-souled people enables the salt to keep its tang (Mt 5:13).
But what rings most true for me is St. Paul's admonition: "make real friends with the poor." We need to include the disadvantaged as friends at our banquet table (Lk 14:12-14). Regular face-to-face interaction with, and service to, the needy must be an integral part of our busy lives. The poor will not be able to reciprocate monetarily. But our give and take with them can filter materialistic impurities from our hearts.
Friendships across class lines herald the inauguration of that great messianic banquet, where there are no rich or poor, only God's beloved children, all feasting together (Is 25:6-9).
Ronald Stanley, O.P.
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