FACULTY GIVING
Giving Is A Two-Way Street
By Mary Cicitta, director of publications and managing editor of Ramapo Magazine
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Giving is nothing new to Doris Mills. From the age of five, in rural North Carolina, she cared for elderly, ailing family members. Her childhood consisted of picking cotton and the repetitive cycle of illness and death.
Ejected from home at the age of 17, she took savings earned from cleaning houses and babysitting to purchase a oneway ticket to Paterson, New Jersey where she lived with relatives and continued caring for infirmed family members.
But her Aunt Eulalia instilled in Doris the desire to do more with her life. In 1987 Doris took a job as a housekeeper at Ramapo College of New Jersey; by 1994 she was pursuing a B.A. in Social Sciences. Shortly after, her mother fell ill and Doris, while raising two children, began making weekly treks home to North Carolina to care for her. The trips continued until her mother's death in 2004 - all the while Doris continued her studies and helped care for her ailing aunt.
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Kay Fowler, Doris' college English professor, advisor and eventual gerontology and women's studies professor at Ramapo, remembers seeing Doris in the College hallways. "She looked very troubled and sad about her life, her sick aunt, her mother and her studies," says Fowler. "I used to embrace her with a big hug and encourage her to speak."
Doris confided that she felt out of step and couldn't keep up with her peers, but she was determined to make it through the bachelor's program. On top of her academic fears, Doris was having difficulty paying the average $1,500 in lab fees and books each semester.
Kay Fowler and Peggy McLaughlin, Doris' associate professor of social work, and her internship mentor, decided to help. Each semester they took turns paying for her books and fees.
"If it wasn't for Kay and Peggy, I wouldn't have been able to finish my degree," says Doris as tears fill her eyes.
In addition to the financial support from Kay and Peggy, Doris took a part time job in 2003 with Assistive Choices, working with disabled patients to supplement her income.
As the weeks and semesters passed, Doris kept Kay apprised of her progress via her classwork and internships, but also as she cleaned Kay's office in EWing. Kay noted how giving permeates many facets of Doris' life: the annual Thanksgiving dinner she prepares for homeless people in her neighborhood, and her visits with the terminally ill.
Since 2005, Doris has volunteered at the Compassionate Care Hospice.
"She's patient and has a true gift for enhancing the quality of life in stressful and extreme situations for those who are facing terminal illness," says Anita Uotinen, volunteer coordinator of Compassionate Care Hospice.
What impresses those who know Doris, has been her unwillingness to give up her volunteer work while juggling family, school and work commitments.
"I can recall on several occasions where a hospice patient's family would call me to specifically request Doris to be with their loved one when he or she had to be left alone for a period of time," says Uotinen. "The family members would only trust their parent, sibling or relative with Doris because of her compassion, trustworthiness and caring nature."
In May 2008, Doris Mills graduated with a B. A. in Social Sciences with a certification in Gerontology, much to the delight of her family, friends and professors at Ramapo. And in Fall 2008, Doris began her Master of Arts in Liberal Studies graduate program at Ramapo College. With the help of Fowler and Dr. Anthony Padovano, director of the MALS program, Doris' special concentration is in Death and Dying in the AfricanAmerican culture.
She hopes to graduate and retire in 2014 to begin her second career in grief counseling.
"When someone is truly grateful for the help they receive in life, the greatest thing they can do is to help others along on the same journey," says Doris.
